“I’ll be redefined…” - Mary Miller envisions her escape
It was by chance, a pure fluke really. I was at Bushstock, the festival involving six or seven venues across Shepherd's Bush, London, in June 2018. I'd just seen Maisie Peters and Angie McMahon in The Library, and using the map that was given to me, I decided I would try and see at least one act in all the venues. The nearest one was the Defector's Weld pub, so I made my way over. I found a seat in a corner by the front door. I had a clear view of the stage and took a photo of a woman soundchecking her guitar. This was Mary Miller.
One of the songs Mary played in her half hour set was called 'Angling'. A trip-hop infused track with distant vocals laced with delay and reverb, the full up room couldn't help but sway to it. This track featured a drum beat typical of trip-hop music, layers of synth, and effected, but sparse guitar. There was no band here - Mary Miller played entirely alone with her instruments surrounding her. That day I booked a ticket to see her next gig, but more on that soon.
I immediately knew I was onto something different when I heard 'I Found Heaven'. The vocals are closer, more defined, and exist in a space populated only by a low synth. As the track progresses, a tiny bit more is added. Miller's lyrics are full of description - 'fill up the room with smoke, we lie on the floor, you're so wicked, burning up the walls.' A discreet bass drum, some low strings, though the majick really happens when the chorus comes in and what follows. 'Oh I found heaven in your arms, don't treat me like a stranger. I found heaven in your skin, lurking.' The real beat is revealed, higher strings sound and a choir pronounce words I can't transcribe. A synthesized brass sound backs up the choir, and we're only halfway through at this point! I Found Heaven feels mysterious, almost dangerous, and is the perfect first single for Mary Miller.
'HD' is the follow-up, and Miller's vocals remain clear over music that could easily be the soundtrack to a game. It's unclear if it's guitar, synth, or a bit of both. The deep backing vocal under Miller's lead is a lovely accompaniment. The pace picks up sooner than her previous single, and could easily depict an argument in the first verse. 'You said “I’m searching for real love, take it easy tonight. You want a resolution, you need to be defined.” I don’t need your approval, you passively undermine, as I vacate from your hold, you change your mind.' I love the sound that Miller creates where the track could be something to dance to, or something to chill to, yet still comes across as personal and auto-biographical without venturing too far into the deep end. Both HD and I Found Heaven were to form part of an EP by Miller called 'Fiction' which was due to come out in the summer of 2018. Ultimately this wasn't meant to be, a topic Miller sheds more light on in our Q&A.
It was early August that year when I saw Mary Miller perform again, this time at the Camden Assembly in London for a special edition of the Jigsaw Festival - the LIMF Academy Showcase. LIMF stands for the Liverpool International Music Festival. To quote their website, the academy is an 'initiative aimed at improving the skill-set and career opportunities of emerging music creators from Merseyside, which reflects the cultural ambitions of Liverpool City Council. Ultimately, we aspire to regenerate the city using culture and arts.'
As well as Mary Miller, I also got to see Deliah, Remee and Gazelle. A great evening of music. Mary jumped up on the stage with her guitar bag and a few extra bits at the conclusion of Deliah's set. This included a laptop and a sampler she set up on a communal keyboard stand. A quick soundcheck, then Miller began. She played six songs - 'Felt', 'HD', 'Conditioned', 'Angling', 'Property' and 'I Found Heaven.' The beginning of 'Conditioned' was a rare moment of just Mary Miller singing and playing guitar, I imagine it's how most of these songs began their life in the writing phase. 'Property' in particular was a track that reminded me of Portishead or Björk's early solo career. I'd like to hear that again.
2019 was quieter for Mary Miller, but she did produce a track for Sub Blue's Wilfully Blind EP entitled 'Everything to Lose'. Her next collaboration came in the form of a LIMF commission in mid-2020, pairing her up with Michael Aldag for the Lockdown Collabo Series. Their track, 'All We've Got', was one of six, the others also featured familiar faces Deliah and Sub Blue. Michael Aldag begins the track with his vocal and an electric piano line. The premise here is that they have 48 hours to come up with a song between the two collaborators. Aldag's voice is deep and soulful, full of emotion. A chromatic guitar surprises the listener in a break from synths and electronic drums. It's a little under halfway through when Mary Miller's voice makes its debut, but the bulk of the vocal is handled by Aldag. Their voices go together well. Some collaborations are ill-advised, but not this one. It's amazing to think that this came together in just two days.
And so we reach the present day, 'Don't Look For Me' is Mary Miller's latest single - due out on the 4th of September. It wastes no time introducing suspense, with the bell bringing in the strings. The whole track gives the air of someone who does not want to be fucked with. I love the line - 'the conversations test my patience and the blatant undertones.' The spoken word verse is laced with a warning as Miller's voice goes lower than we've heard previously, 'I hate the hotel, the parties, the people are fake, I think about our driveway and envision my escape.' There is a James Bond-esque guitar that soon follows, the clean tone reminiscent of simpler guitar rigs of the 50's and 60's, with chants of 'Don't Look For Me' over the top. After the second chorus, a new section is brought in, reducing the instrumental impact as Miller lists all the positives in her life since the earlier events in the song before finishing with one final chorus. This is without a doubt the best single Mary Miller has put out so far.
My favourite part about writing these articles is discussing things with artists that others may not. Here Mary Miller talks about each of her singles, including her collaboration with Michael Aldag and her relationship with the LIMF Academy. I ask Mary about her live rig and her plans for the rest of the year. I can't wait to hear more.
1. 'Don't Look For Me' is your brand new single, how did the production come together? Is this one self-produced?
It is! My tracks are always self-produced…I think as much as I enjoy collaborating I would find it really hard to give over control production-wise for anything I release, aha. I have a really specific way of working, the songwriting and producing are both as important to me as one another, and often happen at the same time…I’ll have an idea of exactly how a song will sound and spend as long as it takes to create what I hear in my head if that makes sense. Production has always been a massive love of mine, I remember making songs with a big bulky 8-track machine and burning them to CD when I was about 10 just spending endless hours on it every single weekend! I will always appreciate the efficiency of stuff like logic because of that, haha.
2. What was 'Don't Look For Me' inspired by lyrically? Is there a story to be told here?
Always! It’s essentially about feeling trapped and wanting to escape a relationship where a situation has become tired and the love is gone. I’m talking in the perspective of almost like a bored wife who is fantasising about just getting the car, running away and saying ‘don’t look for me, just forget about me please’ - but this really mirrors what I was feeling. I have an obsession with cinematic music and film so I love to make lyrics almost half fantasy.
3. Recently you worked with Michael Aldag on a track called 'All We've Got'. What was it like working with Michael and how did the project come together?
It was brilliant and I loved working with him! His voice is so gorgeous. The project was through LIMF Academy who have helped me massively over the years, along with countless other artists in Merseyside. It’s a talent development programme (Merseyside based) which anyone aged 16-25 can apply for, and they select a handful of artists including three ‘most ready’ artists to get a load of prizes like money, rehearsal time, mentoring but above all of that the support they give you is amazing and doesn’t stop! They’ve done ‘lockdown collaborations’ and now ‘songs of equality’ which I also just made a song for! It’s brilliant getting the chance to work with really talented people just like Michael and I really feel lucky to be a part of it.
4. There's a track on your soundcloud called 'Angling' which is unavailable elsewhere, would you tell us more about that track?
That was the first thing I ever put out, before I even did any gigs. Someone asked me to play a gig off the back of that song, and that was how I got started. I just made it in my bedroom, having wrote it years before that. It was the first time I really established that epic, cinematic sound and the incorporating electronic and hip-hop influence…before that I was making more subtle guitar music.
5. 'I Found Heaven' is an expansive track, I particularly love the choir sound. Is that a live choir or a sample from elsewhere?
Thank you!! I actually make my choirs using this crazy choir plugin called ‘Hollywood Gold Choirs’, they have all of the consonants and vowels and you put them in one by one, so you can create whatever sound you have in your head. Sometimes I’ll blend in a real sample of a choir (usually from Splice) just to add more layers, I really wanted to give the song this lifting feeling, like you were literally rising up to heaven.
6. You've previously spoken about 'HD' and described it as being about partying to forget things, but where did the term 'HD' come from to describe the state of mind in that song?
I just find that when I’m intoxicated, things feel a lot more clear because I don’t spend time thinking things through - the loss of inhibitions creates a sort of honesty, so that’s where HD came from; this idea that when you’re drunk you feel everything in high definition; in reality the opposite but it feels like you enter this universe of honesty and excitement. The song is in the perspective of a relationship; of being like ‘now that I’m drunk, I’ve stopped caring. I feels like I can see everything clearly’.
7. It was reported in 2018 that you were releasing an EP called Fiction, what happened to the full release?
Yeh, so I basically took a year out from gigging or doing music things for some personal reasons, I know that’s really strange to do when you’re on the rise but the internet is so permanent and I didn’t want to put out anything that I hadn’t put my whole heart into. It’s daunting coming back, but I can’t wait to play gigs again; the third song that was going to be on Fiction (‘Conditioned’) I’ll be releasing later this year, I’ve gigged with that song so many times and a few people have asked me to release it.
8. Your musical style is influenced by hip-hop and trip-hop, what were those artists you were listening to growing up?
I was massively into Nas, the Fugees, Souls of mischief but also the modern stuff - I was a huge fan of Tyler the Creator, Frank Ocean (so many members of odd future), Goldlink, Kanye. Hip-hop is just an elite genre to me and I was always so drawn to it, because I feel like it’s limitless - it has to have that hip-hop kick to it but there’s such a massive scope in-between of how tracks sound. Like if you think about Kanye for example, the sounds he uses - from College Dropout to The Life of Pablo, and all the albums in-between - they each have a completely different sound! I love that there are so many less rules than other genres within hip-hop, all that really matters is the attitude.
9. I first saw you play at Bushstock in 2018, what was your favourite part of the whole Bushstock experience?
Oh I loved playing Bushstock! I actually won the ‘apply to play’ competition for that. It was really special to me as it was one of my first London gigs, my first festival down south! I love how Bushstock is all about new music, they really champion upcoming artists - when I played I remember Sam Fender, Freya Ridings and Grace Carter headlined and weren’t very well known at all, they’ve gone on to become really big names! I look back really fondly at Bushstock, the audience was lovely and London (especially where we were in Shepherd’s Bush) is so beautiful.
10. Your live performances are typically a solo venture with a full sound, what gear do you use to make all of that happen?
They are! Live, I use a MacBook and Maschine by Native Instruments, but I create all sounds/songs in logic and then transfer it over like samples. Part of why I play live is because I want people to see that I do all of the producing etc. - as a girl people often don’t expect you to be producing, so I feel like it’s important to be visible with that.
11. You've been involved with the LIMF Academy over the years, what's been the most rewarding part?
Things like LIMF Academy are SO important for unsigned, upcoming artists who need support! Like I said, I just feel so lucky to have been able to be part of it. With venues closing everywhere, (in Liverpool recently SO many adored venues have had to close) anything that provides support to artists, grassroots venues and the music scene are crucial; our history as a musical country is legendary, it would be awful if we lost that part of our culture!
12. Is 'Don't Look For Me' the start of something new? Will there be an EP coming in the future?
Absolutely, yes! ‘Conditioned’ will be out in a couple of months, followed by a set of singles throughout the rest of the year.
Find Mary Miller on facebook, instagram and soundcloud at 'marymillermillermiller' and 'marymillersound' on twitter.
Add ‘Don’t Look For Me’ to your spotify playlists here.
