‘I wanna trust myself’ - maphe and insecurity

Sometimes great music is made in the face of adversity. I’m not even sure Adele would have a career without relationship turmoil, nor would Pink Floyd have made their best material if it weren’t for societal inadequacy. Artists have swung different ways during the pandemic, with some inspired to the hilt and turning out work like the world is ending (ha), and some completely uninspired by the hell we find ourselves in. So it’s a joy to see an artist I admire returning with a new single, let’s welcome maphe into 2021.

Technically this would be Martha Stone’s fourth release under the name ‘maphe’ as she released commissioned works ‘Break Your Heart Nicely’ and ‘What Have You Got To Lose’, the latter of which has been played on television in numerous programmes including ‘Queer Eye’. I previously wrote about maphe’s last single ‘fire’ back in March 2020, her true debut aside from commissioned music. Around the same time, Stone joined indie/math rock band This Is Slug? for their first gig, though gigging momentum ceased in light of borderline armageddon. However they did release two singles entitled ‘Get Home Safe Ben’ and ‘A Nice Single’, which we wrote about in October. Now in January 2021, maphe has re-focused her energies on her solo work, establishing herself as a lo-fi pop artist with new single ‘insecure’.

Straight away insecure is on an entirely different plain from ‘fire’, driven by piano and a steady layer of drums. There’s guitar here too, but it’s the introspective vocal and lyrics that make insecure a stand-out track in maphe’s small but mighty catalogue of songs. Here is just a taste of maphe’s lyric in insecure: ‘I’m much too young to feel so old, I’m far too lucky here to feel so low, scared of my own shadow.’ A carefully placed bassline that picks up in the chorus helps to elevate the multi-layered vocal with the line, ‘I wanna trust myself’ a constant in the right channel. As with ‘fire’, insecure reveals more layers of arrangement and meaning over time. It’s truly a fascinating dynamic that maphe and producer Joe Connor have created which ensures repeat-listens of their work. Further to this, the great mixing by both Connor and Jeppe Andersson is essential in showcasing such a complex work that still makes this accessible lo-fi pop. My only grievance is that there isn’t more of it. I could listen to an album of this all day.

Here maphe also presents her first solo music video, which runs in the same headspace as her accompanying photographs for insecure. Shot on a pebbly beach, the blues are brought out in an overcast sky and produced in a vintage filmic style. There is no lip-syncing with the track, and none is required. The video looks how the song sounds, a record of a tainted memory, sometimes running in reverse, sometimes with a smile, occasionally with the sun in maphe’s eyes. Like the pebbles on the beach she sits upon, some memories are rough, others are smooth.

1. Your new single 'insecure' is inspired by early lockdown, what was your own experience of lockdown like in 2020?

Lockdown was tough. I don’t think I know a single person who didn’t find it difficult. I lost all motivation really, barely left the house (barely left the sofa to be honest), and stopped looking after my mind and my body. It wasn’t until July that I created something new, and even then it was born out of frustration for how badly I felt I was dealing with everything. As we head into yet another lockdown I hope we are all able to be a little kinder to ourselves this time. If I don’t get much done this time around, that’s perfectly ok, but luckily I do feel in a better headspace to at least get some fresh air and eat a vegetable or two.

2. You worked with Joe Connor again for this track, what was the recording process like?

I always love working with Joe, I feel like we can be really brutally honest with each other about how we are feeling about the music. He sent me his idea for the ‘insecure’ backing track and straight away I liked it. Within ten minutes I had an idea, recorded it on GarageBand, and went down for dinner. That demo vocal ended up being used in the final version because I got attached to it as it felt so personal and raw. I prioritise the feeling and vibe over what might be technically more correct or cleaner sounding- I am really stubborn about that. I like layering different lyrics and melodies, and I don’t care if it sounds messy. I quite like messy. 

3. Tell me about shooting the music video for 'insecure', where was it shot and who was behind the camera for that?

The video was shot on the beach in Brighton by my close friend Max Churchill (fellow musician The Motion). It was just a day that I was content and happy and having fun, but when I watched the footage back all I could do was tear myself apart in my head. My clothes didn’t look right on me. My hair looked silly. My facial expressions were too fake and my face was all wrong. The concept and location were too basic. But for the song, to me that was perfect so I went with it (even if I find it difficult to watch back). I captured the cloud images in Somerset during an electrical storm - and included them because I wanted to. I could say that they are symbolic of mixed emotions and clouded judgement and raining on your own parade, but I mostly included them because I wanted to and for once just wanted to trust myself and go with what I wanted without overthinking it- which is the essence of the song really. The cloud imagery also features in my Instagram filter that has been created for this release - a feature that I’m so excited about and hope people have fun with! 

4. Some people were way creative in 2020, and some not at all, where did you fall in that spectrum?

Not at all really, I had so much time to be creative, and I got so mad at myself feeling like I’d wasted it. But I’m the sort of person that needs to be busy in order to get stuff done, I need the pressure to motivate me, otherwise I will just sleep 20 hours a day and watch Netflix for the other 4. 

5. You're also the singer for indie band This Is Slug?, where are you guys at with your music at the moment?

We had so much fun together, but 2020 made it impossible for practice, and certain members are now some distance away, so sadly the slug may have been salted? We may pull through, but I guess we’ll have to wait and see. 

6. Put your preferred music service on shuffle, what's the first track that comes up? Tell me your relationship with that song.

I put my top played songs of 2020 on shuffle and the first to play was ‘Bitter’ by Fletcher and Kito. This song makes me feel angry and empowered and inspired all at once. It really captures what being bitter feels like, and it’s a cathartic listen after the emotional rollercoaster of 2020.

7. With the future uncertain, have you considered live-streaming a gig at all?

Yes, this is definitely something I’m interested in and have plans to do, but it will take a little work as I don’t feel that a lot of my music works well in an acoustic setting. For example, ‘insecure’ wouldn’t sound right with just vocal and guitar, as in my opinion it needs the vocal layers and other sounds. So yes, I have plans for live streaming, but Joe and I need to work out the right way of doing it.

8. Could there be an EP coming in 2021? Or perhaps more singles? 

More singles for sure! Joe and I have lots of half-finished ideas stacked up but they all need a lot of work - which is difficult when we can’t see each other. However, we are trying to find ways to work remotely, as I want to keep up momentum for 2021. Ideally I want to be releasing a song a month roughly. I’m a firm believer in getting a track to a level I’m satisfied with and then just throwing it into the world. I spent so long as a perfectionist before realising that it wasn’t good for me and was holding me back because I never thought anything was good enough. Nowadays, if I like it and would choose to listen to it on the night bus, then I’m happy enough. 

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To keep up to date with the music of maphe, follow her on Facebook and Instagram @maphemaphemaphe.